Last email from America

happy Tuesday!!!!!! happy P-day!!!!! annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd..........................happy "ONE- WEEK -FROM- TODAY- I'LL- BE- IN -UKRAINE" DAY!!!!! isn't that so great!!!???? yup, I’m leaving the country on TUESDAY of next week!!! and I’m so so so so sooooooooooo excited about it!!!! which also means....I’ll be calling you! and you are in luck, my friends....because I’ve got a pretty decent layover in DC....and I’m going to be racing to the phones. I’m so excited to talk to you! you better all be home.......dad....get off work. Mom.....let the kids stay home from school. siblings.......I don't care what kind of lame school activities are going on....you will be home to talk to your sister. because the next call will be on Christmas. SO BE THERE. ahhhhhh I’m so excited!!! we got our travel plans on Friday (or Thursday), and I was jumping up and down (being a girl) because I’m so excited! I fly from here to DC, and then from DC to Vienna, Austria, and then to Ukraine! I’m pretty sure I’m going to look real bad, but I’ll be there! it will take us a day and a half to get there. isn't that crazy to think that this time next week I’ll be en route to another country? I still can't get over it. not just any other country, but the country that will forever change my life. I’m so excited. I know it will be such a huge culture shock, and I know I won't understand what people are saying to me for a really long time.......but I’m still really excited. oh....also, as we were looking through our travel plans, and packing instructions.....I was reading the weight restrictions for suitcases. we're flying Austrian air, but there is this airline called like muffasa or something hilarious like that...and it said, "your carry on may only be 18 pounds for this airline." so I was going on and on and on about how bad that would be, and how glad I am that we don't have that restriction...because I’m shoving ALL my heavy things into my carry-on, so I can make the other weight restrictions. and then one of the elders goes, "um.....so.....like...I hate to be the one to tell you this...but...umm.................we have the same weight restriction....and um.....here......just.....yeah.....18 pounds." sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I’m freaking out a teeeeeeny, tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny bit. I pretty much decided I’m going to make a coat out of all my heavy blankets, books, and random clothes....and wear it...because if I’m wearing it.....it technically doesn't count. so, if you have any advice on the best way to do that, just let me know. oh, and I’m attaching a picture of my travel plans, the time that I’m in DC for my layover is DC time, so know that I’ll be calling sometime in that time frame. I’m not sure the time difference, but just plan accordingly.

moving along. this week was great. Elder Holland didn't end up coming on Tuesday (I still have hope), but we did get to hear from another apostle. Elder Nelson came, and we got to sing "Come Thou Fount" as a choir for it....and I loved every second. it's been a really good week, and I’ve learned so much. I seriously cannot believe how much every day teaches me. this week I’ve really been thinking a lot about so many different things, but one of them is that all my characteristics and qualities are so real, raw, and apparent here. like.....I’m so aware of myself. I’m so aware of all my areas of weakness...I’ve recognized weaknesses I didn't even know that I had. and along with that, my strengths and talents are so apparent. I’ve found out way more about myself in these last eight weeks, than I think I could have ever figured out. I’ve been able to see the areas that I’d like to improve on in my life. Although it may seem hard (and sometimes it is) to have my weaknesses just displayed for me (and let's be honest...everyone around me), it's also incredible, and amazing. It's amazing because I can work on strengthening my weaknesses! While I was studying, I read Ether 12:27 (just look it up). It's so perfect- the Lord gives me weaknesses so I will humble myself, and as I humble myself, He will make my weaknesses strong. I LOVE THAT! Also Jacob 4:27 - I am given weaknesses so I can recognize that it is by HIS power that I can be made strong. oh, it's so wonderful. and let me tell you.......I feel it. I feel myself becoming better every day. I feel my weaknesses becoming strong. I love recognizing how I can be better, and improve, because who doesn't want to be even better than they are RIGHT NOW?! it's amazing. I know that through the Lord, I can do all things. and without Him, I am nothing. absolutely nothing. through him, I am everything.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd I am really recognizing so many talents that I have, that I didn't even realize! and also, how so many things about myself that just seemed normal....really are talents! I’ve realized that I have many more talents than I ever gave myself credit for.

I decided this past week that I wanted to make a list of everything I wanted to accomplish on my mission. it's really long. but pretty much, I thought about everything I’ve ever wanted to be. I’ve thought of everything I have ever admired in other people. I thought of things I’ve always thought about one day learning how to do. I’ve thought about things I’ve wanted to change about myself. and I wrote them all down....and I decided that I’m going to do them. I’m going to become that person. I’m going to have those talents. for instance (on the superficial side of things)...I’ve always wanted to know how to harmonize songs. so, I decided I’m really going to LEARN, and PRACTICE. my district hates me for that one, because I literally sound awful with every song that I sing...but I know by the end of my mission I’ll have it figured out. I’ve always wanted to have really long hair.....so I decided I’m going to. I’m going to do something different than I’ve ever done...and only air dry my hair for pretty much my entire mission. those are just two silly examples...but the rest I don't really need to write out for you all to see. but I know that I can do everything I’ve ever wanted to do, and be. and I will.

okay, so some of my: "is that really necessary moments" are comin' your way:

1. I taught a lesson this week. we were talking about Christ, and being why we need to be baptized. she said, "I was baptized when I was a baby, why do I need to be baptized again?" it was actually a really crazy moment, and I just thought of the Moroni 8:8 scripture, how it says that little babies don't need to be baptized, because they don't sin. and how the point of being baptized is being cleansed from sin, being cleansed through Christ. so....I was like...let's read that scripture. and I actually, accidentally had her read Mormon 8:8 (because Mormon and Moroni look almost identical in Ukrainian). at the end, she just looked horrified. and I was really confused...because that's a good scripture! well, come to find out.....Mormon 8:8 just talks all about war and bloodshed on the face of the earth.......so that's awkward. and I just thought to myself, "jas....was that really necessary? of all the scriptures to show her????"

2. last night I was taking a shower (my favorite part of the day), and I just hear someone coming into the common area screaming....everyone turn off your showers!!!! there is a flood in the other bathroom! the pipes are flooding! hurry! turn off your water! (just complete panic and chaos). so I’m like covered in shampoo, and I turn my water off. as I got out, and looked at the "flood" in the bathroom..........there really aren't even words. there was no flood. there was like water on the floor, because someone forgot to put the shower curtain in the tub. sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I think you know what I was thinking. "really.........really..........was that really necessary?"

I have so much to write, and soooooooooooooooo not a lot of time to write it. but as you know, I’ll send a letter. annnnnnnnnnnnnd I’ll talk to you for a very long time on Tuesday!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! I’m so excited. happy birthday to Bradley, congrats on varsity cheer, bean! and congrats to mom for being a consignment store shop-a-holic and getting some great finds! make my room nice and pretty ;)

  

I am sending pictures from the day you sent those DELICOUS cookies, the day we got our flight plans; I got to HOST last week...so I sent a picture of my sticker with a cookie, and some temple pictures. I think that's all. xoxo

Lots of LOVE

may 14, 2013
 
hello!!!!!!! i have an overload of pictures to send home to you...so this email may not be as long...but i'll make up for it in the letter i send home. CAN I SAY THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR MAKING MY BIRTHDAY INCREDIBLE?!?!?!!?!? oh my goodness...i about died when i opened your box....it explains itself in the play-by-play of pictures coming your way ;) i was ecstatic. you guys really outdid yourselves this time. i opened my presents with my district....and i'm pretty sure the elders were thinking, "who is this girl.....and who let her into our district..." hahahahahahhah like i'm such a girl. i was squeeling and screaming and like jumping around. and then i'd cry. and then i'd ramble about how great you are. and then i sat and explained every picture in that book (THAT I LOVE AND CAN'T STOP LOOKING AT). In one of the pictures i'm sending home, it's me pointing to the picture of bradley and i hugging......it's my favorite one. and it's so perfect that my companion got a picture of me pointing to it. thank you times a million. i can't get over how great you all are. trust me when i say that.
 
my birthday was wonderful. i'm 20 now. blow up some balloons for me. i am a reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal woman, now. that's what i've been saying to everyone that asks how old i am. teen no longer. this morning at breakfast, i was like hmmmmmmm what do twenty year old women eat. hahahaha i'm just loving it. my day was great. it was just like any other day (until package time). i forgot to put on my name tag in the morning, and didn't realize for a while (awkward). and i taught a couple lessons later in the day under the scorching sun (only a half-complaint there). and then the mail came, and the packages came, and my joy was FULL. i hope you can get that from my pictures. let's just talk about how obsessed i am with my new shoes. ohhhhhhhhhhh that was the best. thank you thank you thank you thank you. i saw those "Born" boxes, and literally screamed...i think there's a picture of it. anyways. then we went to gym out at the field by the temple. on the walk back, i was reading all my letters, and all the sudden, my entire zone started singing. there are like fifty people in our zone. and i realized they were all singing HAPPY BIRTHDAY in russian to me. it was so cutie. they were like harmonizing and yelling it at the top of their lungs. it was so great. i was just jumping up and down with the biggest smile on my face. it was great. my birthday was great. so great. and it's the only time i'll ever have a birthday in the MTC! monumental.
 
okay, so i'll ramble on for twelve more pages in the letter i send home. be expecting it. i am still so happy about every, single item in that package. meanwhile, this clock is ticking, and i still have so much to write, and so many pictures to attach (three at a time -_- )
 
this week was incredible. i am telling you, every single day since i left has been LIFE CHANGING. seriously. i can't get over it. Let me tell you, every day i feel like i'm a better person than the day before. a mission is sanctifying. it really is. if anyone is even considering a mission......i am screaming at you to GO! my life is forever changed, and will be forever and ever and ever. it's unreal. okay, so on sunday for our MTC relief society with everyone......janice kapp perry came--she was the one who wrote literally all of the GOOD primary songs. no offence to all the other writers, but she wrote the real gems. like "child's prayer," and "i love to see the temple," and all of them, pretty much. she also wrote "as sisters in zion." trust me when i say that there was not a dry eye in the entire auditorium as she spoke to us. she literally just had us sing all of her songs, and she'd kind of talk about the meaning behind them, and there are some amazing stories behind every one. and then......she told us that she had re-written "as sisters in zion" and she wanted us to be the first ones to sing it. so it comes on, and it was all about sister missionaries. it was like talking about how this is a new time, and we are at the front line of it all. the lord needs us, and we're here. and it was UNREAL. you could just hear like sobs and sniffles throughout the whole thing. she said it would be released soon, but it was so amazing to sing it here with HER, and all the other sister missionaries. it was incredible.
 
i've been thinking about how i want to go through every day of my mission, and how i want to be at the end of my mission when i get off the plane. i read a quote by elder holland (who BY THE WAY is coming tonight for my birthday. just kidding, we never know who is coming, but i've been praying every second that it will be him that comes. keep your fingers crossed). but this quote says something like, "give your mission all you have. be like a runner at the end of the marathon finish line....with nothing else to give. now, don't be tired and exhausted, and gasping for air.....but give it your all." i literally want nothing more than to go through every day like that. and i feel that i do, every day. i want to exert everything i have, everything i possess, into my mission. i want to look back at the end of each day, and at the end of it all....and think.....i did it. i did it. i gave it my all. i know that there are angels walking right beside me, helping me, lifting me. i am so not alone in this. i just feel so incredibly blessed to be here, you literally have no idea. my mission president was at some sort of meeting thing with elder ballard, and at the end, my mission president (the mtc one) said: "elder holland, i'm supposed to be addressing the missionaries going to ukraine and russia tomorrow, what would you have me say to them? what would you have me teach them?" he said that elder ballard just sat with his head down, thinking, praying, and just soaking up the Spirit....until he looked up and said, "teach them to always teach by the Spirit." i thought that was amazing that we, not the missionaries as a whole, but OUR mission was told that we needed to do that. so i am always keeping that in mind, and striving for that every day.
 
i have so many "is that really necessary" experiences this week.
 
 
my first: i was asked to be the chorister in church on sunday, and it was a big sunday.....because we had the whole MTC presidency with us for our meeting, and lots of other people. it was a big crowd. and if you don't know, my zone is combined with all the russian, ukrainian, and baltic states missions. so there are lots of peeps. well......pretty much everyone sings in russian, because there are only six of us in the mtc learning ukrainian. and the hymns are completely different translations, so the words are like not even the same. anyways, i was standing up there leading the music, and everyone is singing in russian, so i can't even hear myself to even know where we are in the song. so i was doing the whole "peas and carrots" thing again. just smiling, and waving ahhahahaaha. mind you, i didn't think people even watched the chorister before this event. so i get to the end of the song, and do the pretty little "...and....CUT" sing that choristers are really good at. and then i did the classic, slowly close your eyes and nod as if saying, "beautiful. that was beautiful." and i hear like two people awkwardly singing like two words. and the pianist kind of like hits a few keys. and i look up and EVERYONE is staring at me, so confused. and the pianist is like glaring at me, wide eyed, and i realized i cut the song off like in the middle of the song. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh it was bad. so then i awkwardly kind of shout, "oooooooooooops, carry on." i'm certain i will never lead the music again. FINE. BY. ME. but i mean, is that really necessary to glare at me?!
 
2nd: last night i was walking back from the field, and this elder stops four of us and asks if he can bare his testimony to us. (super common as people are practicing their mission language, and contacting people). so of course we say yes. so he starts going off in spanish, and his eyes are literally LASER BEAMS piercing my eyes. like he did not drop eye-contact. not only that, but it was INTENSE. and his testimony kept going, and going, and going, and going.....and i was like soooooooooooo uncomfortable. finally, this girl in my district that was standing by me just burts out laughing, so i burst out laughing,and he is still staring at me. i'm peeing my pants, literally....and i'm like i can't do this. he was like scaring me. so he keeps going for like another ten minutes. first of all, is it really necessary to stare into my eyes for ten minutes? second, are you bearing your testimony, or giving a conference talk? super awkard.
 
and the third one on my mind at the moment was from this morning. i'm in the bathroom getting ready, and i hear like little splashes coming from the shower. they just kept going, and going, and going. and i realized that there was someone taking a freaking bath in the bathtub shower. likeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.......let me give you an idea on how disgusting that is. so many girls shower in there. and to lay on that gross tile/bath material. ohhhh i was like....girlfriend.....we don't do that. and IS IT REALLY NECESSARY TO SPLASH LIKE THAT? you aren't two.
 
 
well....i'm going to end this so i can send 456 pictures. i can't ever see what i'm sending, so sorry if they are akward. my closing thought is that i am so grateful for life. take a deep breath, like a really deep breath. do you realize that it is God allowing us this breath? he is sustaining our lives right now. he is allowing us to be alive, and to keep the oxygen levels and everything in nature at a constant........so that we can breathe and just LIVE. He created everything, so I could feel secure. He is in the air i breathe, supporting me, and you. isn't that incredible? we are alive and thriving because of HIM. i love life. how grateful i am to be living. i love you all. and think of you every second. xoxoxxoxo jas

Hola/holl-a

hey hey heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!! happy p-day! ahhhhhhh this is like the best day. it's a holiday.......for me and no one else in the world. and i just got done eating a SPICY BURGER. yes......i want you to know that it was glorious. all the elders gave me their jalepenios.....and it was just the best thing ever. so that's why i attached a picture of it for you. you're welcome, you're welcome. and yes....the gross thing in the corner of my plate is indeed a glob of tater tots doused in tabasco. life is good, let me tell ya'.

this week was another great one. like, so great. i always feel like i don't even know what to tell you, because i forget everything that happens, and i don't have time to sit and read my journal hahah. BUT. let's start off by saying, YOU'RE GETTING A NEW CAR?! of course. of course. excuse me while i cry. feel free to double up on those, so one can be waiting for me upon my arrival back into the united states. have i mentioned i'll be living in ukraine this month? adkljd;klfjd;fklajdfalsdjk let's just freak out together, shall we? we're taking our FAREWELL pictures as a zone THIS SUNDAY. fja;kdlfja;kdlfjads;fklajsd;kalf. hahahah i'm just freaking out. it's so exciting. and i get my travel plans this week, or next. word on the street is that we fly to new york, then amsterdam, then ukraine. how great is that?! and mom, to answer your question.....no i will not be calling you on mothers day. i just started laughing that you thought that was even an option. do you not remember how many sister missionaries i said were here?! PLUS elders. like hahahahaha where would they even find phones for us all hahahaha. but, fear not, i get to call you from the airport(s). so you'll be hearing from me super soon!!!!!!! i'm so excited to talk to you!!!!!! i'll keep you updated on the day and stuff. pretty much plan on staying hostage at home until i call you. i will be so mad if you aren't there.

i've been speaking ukrainian all day for like.......5/7 days this week. it's great.  all my thoughts are ukrainian thoughts....and today i'm speaking english and it's been so great. i'm thinking in english again!!!!!

on sunday, chad lewis came to talk to us for our MTC devotional. (if you don't know who that is, you're not alone. i was like, "who the heck is chad lewis...") but i'm sure bradley and dad know. he was a football player for byu and then the packers, or steelers, or some NFL team. he was great. and i thought of david, and bradley, and brandon.....it will be them here soon! he was really cool, and said some great stuff. he talked all about his career, and some funny stories, and how he is able to be the NFL representative for china because he spoke chinese on his mission. pretty neat stuff.

annnnnnnnnnd my weekly spiritual thought: i love my savior. like LOVE. on sunday we had a mission conference with the whole MTC and as all the speakers talked to us, i was just so full of gratitude for Christ. we went back and talked as a district about our favorite speakers, thoughts, etc. normally i'm the first one to start those conversations and get the conversation flowing. everyone was just staring at me waiting for me to go hahahahhaah and i just literally couldn't speak. i said one word and tears were just streaming down my face. i can't explain to you the gratitude and love that i have for my savior. i can't begin to explain to you how much i love Him. it is only through Him that we can be happy. the atonement is available to all. we can give our heartache, trials, disappointments, inadequacies, sorrow, sin, and all other negative things TO HIM. He has already paid the price. It's done. and now he just wants us to accept His great sacrifice. i need it every hour. i am a new person every day, because of the love my savior has for me. i hope you all realize how wonderful it is. i hope you know how much i love Him. i love Jesus Christ. all i want for my life is to be like Him. i want to love as he loves. serve, as he serves. teach, as He teaches. walk, as he walked. i want to turn out, instead of in....just like Him. i want to be selfless, instead of selfish. i know that through Him, and His strength, that can happen. i can be that. and he wants me to be that. he knows that i can.

my favorite song since being here, is "come thou fount." ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i love it. i love all the words. i love the tune. i love the power. it's all about how i have been rescued. i have been saved. every, single day. and i'll always remember and praise Him for it.

okayyyyyyyyyyy i know you're all interested in my IS THAT REALLY NECESSARY section ;)

1. this elder literally stopped me (he grabbed my arm) as i was walking down the stairs of the auditorium for a devotional. he was sitting down. and he goes, "i have seen you before." (i'll put his comments in CAPS, and mine in regular font).

really, oh, i'm sure i've seen you too.....?

YEAH LIKE I SEE YOU ALL THE TIME. IN THE CAFETERIA, STUDYING OUTSIDE, I EVEN SAW YOU THE DAY YOU CAME HERE, MARCH 27TH RIGHT?......

(i'm dying. my district was dying). ohhhhhhhhhh wow, yeah, you really have seen me around.....

YOU'RE GOING TO UKRAINE, RIGHT?

...........................um....

THAT IS SO COOL! I'M SO JEALOUS. I'M GOING TO NEW HAMPSHIRE.

......yeah, i'm excited.......

I LEAVE TOMORROW......

oh.....good luck!

YEAH....I'LL PROBABLY NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN......WHAT SCHOOL ARE YOU GOING TO WHEN YOU GET HOME?

....no clue. my plans always change.

WELL, DO YOU HAVE AN IDEA? I REALLY WANT TO KEEP IN TOUCH.....

okay IS THAT REALLY NECESSARY?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!? so help me. so help me. help the world.

 like............we never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER do that.

#2. this girl in line next to me when i was getting dinner a couple nights ago, was like asking me all about my life, and just talking up a storm, which was great...until she's like, "what kind of music do you like?" so i told her my great taste in tunes ahhahaah and how i LOVE music, and just like all music. i'm naming bands, blah blah blah. and then i ask her. and she's like, "oh i only listen to disney music, josh groban, and the mormon tabernacle choir." AWKWARD. and i wanted to say, "really..... but really..... is that REALLY necessary?" but i didn't.

i'm going to be writing my weekly letter home to you guys, and i'll address everything that you talked about in your letters, but let me just tell you, bradley, how proud i am that you are a workin' boy! it's about time!!!!!! i'm sure freddy is sure proud of you. good ole' car washing jobs. and mom and dad are volunteering at the graduation party hahahaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahhahahahaahahah i'm for reals laughing right out loud as i type this. i laughed so hard when mom said, "bradley isn't too thrilled about it, but i think it will be really fun." OF COURSE YOU THINK IT WILL BE FUN hahahahahahahaha ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh high school. and i can totally picture bradley's enthusiasm. congrats mom, on getting your eagle. i'm sure proud. and congrats bradley, on getting her to do it for you ;)

in case you weren't aware....it is my birthday......next week.....on monday. so, i will be expecting letters from all of you. call me, beep me, if you wanna reach me.....or send me a dear elder...next best thing. that's what i want for ma birffday. thanks for everyone listening to my guilt trip this last week!!! i was so happy to get an overflow of love and letters!!! i knew you were all alive ;)

and now for my weekly "want" list:

-let me just talk about how much i LOVE my yummy-smelling things. i mean, everyone gives me so much grief for how much i love to smell things, but it makes me happy. sooooooooo i would love some more of those laundry pod things that you sent me for my laundry! they smell DELISH. and they are so easy and convenient. and i want to wash all my sheets, blankets, whites, darks, reds....and i'lll need some more pods for that hahahaha. also. mommy, remember when we bought that yummy body wash for me?!?!?! i think about you every time i smell it. i LOVE it. and i'd love some more. it's "burnt brown sugar somethin' somethin' somethin' and karite butter or somethin'" by caress. it's DIVINE. and a life-saver. ohhhhhhhh if you knew how much i love it. and maybe some yummy lotion. i would LOVE yummy lotion. and no, japanese cherry blossom does not smell yummy.

thanks for all your love. i hope you know how much i love you right back. so much. i think about you, pray for you, and send my love to you every day. thanks for being the best ever. thanks for keeping me in the loop....i love it more than you will ever know. send me pictures!!!!!! lots of pictures!!! of everything and everyone!!!

speaking of pictures.....have sean lowe and catherine been married yet??!?!?!?! i mean, i know they were anxious to tie the knot before i left! i realized i never told anyone to keep me updated on that?!?!!?!?!? so....as soon as it happens, or if it already has.....send me quotes from magazines. pictures. etc. because YOU KOW I'M INVESTED. email me pictures of her dress and hair. ahhhhhhhhhhhh i love them and i'm so envious that she'll probably be on an elephant for her wedding. lucky, lucky girl.

lots of love. can't wait to hear from you again. xoxoxoxoxoox jas

 

this week we learned all about how to teach the word of wisdom. so of course, we had to learn all the words to teach it. i am pointing to "drugs" on the board in the picture. after i took this, all the sisters took pictures next to  it, and pointed to "healthy." AWKWARD. but, on the bright side, i know how to say all the drugs in ukrainian. so useful.

a picture of brooklin and me today. she was just coming back from service. we see each other a million times a day, and haven't even taken a picture, so of course we had to

my burger today

Surprise!!!!

surprise!!!! happy tuesday.....it's my new P-Day! it was news to me......as of saturday. don't ask me how i feel about it. don't ask me how i feel about it. don't ask me how i feel about it. hahaha. we have a new schedule because it's summer now for BYU......so our teachers want to like....sleep in and have lives....or something like that. GROW UP.

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha bless their hearts. anyways. you'll be hearing from me on tuesdays for the remainder of my MTC stay....which BY THE WAY is on the downward slope now. can you believe it? i can't. nope, not one bit.

this past week i was DEATHLY SICK. like, okay fine.....not DEATHLY. but like kind of deathly. it was to the point that everywhere i went, people would go, "oh my goodness are you okay?!" -

my nose was stuffed. like super stuffed. every time i tried to breathe, my nostrils wouldn't move. so i spent most of my nights laying awake in my bed, because i was scared if i went to sleep that i would die. and my eye like wouldn't open all the way hahahahahahaha soooooooooooo you don't get a lot of pictures this week.........because i wasn't looking camera ready. but it was seriously the sweetest thing...........one day that i came into class, the elders just took one look at me, and walked out. so i was like, oh sad....they think i'm going to like spread a disease to them. and they came back like fifteen minutes later with ICE CREAM! oh, it was the cutest darn thing ever. i was sooooooooooooooooo happy, my goodness. like you have no idea. so-----that was sweet. annnnnnnnnnd on that note.......today my favorite (i feel bad saying that) elder went home today. like home-home. saint george home. ummmmmmmmmmm like i'm so sad. our district just got so much smaller! like now there are only six of us......and now i'm like the only one carrying the humor on hahahaha. but really, i'm just sad about it. he is going home for medical reasons.....and i don't really know what's going on. i just feel bad when people go home. and i will just miss him a lot. he made me think of home, and family, because he was just a really cool kid....really humorous.....and really in tune with his emotions. he would always talk about how sweet his grandparents are, how great his family is, and he'd cry. ALL THINGS WALLACE/SMITH. hahahahah. anyways. i told him when i get married he's going to have no choice but to be my wedding videographer...because he is AMAZING with film. and he does wedding films! soooooooooooooooooooooooooo hopefully i get married so that i can give him some business ;)

next up on some housekeeping business....................where the heck are you guys? why does no one write me?! likeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee okay fine i need to hear some updates!!!!! it's like no bueno when you are at the MTC and mail is delivered TWICE a day....and you get no letters. for like a week hahahaha. sooooo like send me some mail hahaha. AND THAT GOES FOR MY FRIENDS, TOO. WHERE ARE YOU?! WHO'S ENGAGED?! WHO'S DATING?! WHO'S DOING SUMMER CLASSES?! WHERE ARE YOU?! yes.....this is supposed to be a guilt trip. i hope it works.

moving right along to the good and happy stuff.............................my life is amazing. like let's just talk about this weather for a second, shall we?! where did it come from? it's perfect! every second that i can be outside.....which isn't like THAT much....i enjoy it. the flowers are so pretty here. they are everywhere! and there are so many pretty trees and stuff. i took a picture next to my favorite blossom tree...i don't know if you still have the last one i sent home, but if you do, look at how much it's blossomed!!!!! that's how i feel, too. i feel like i've like literally blossomed since i've been here. i've been growing in talents i didn't even know i had! and it rocks.

we have "speak your language days," and i LOVE them. we add another day every week, so this week is 4 days of only ukrainian, next is 5, then 6, and then................................7! and then i'll be in ukraine. holy cow. so crazy. so great. so exciting.

oh, and my sweet mission president sent me a little email that said:  "i read a quote once: 'act enthusiastic, and you'll be enthusiastic!' that should have been written under your picture! you are truly a wonderful example of a positive and happy person. your love of the Gospel, and life, is contagious and the people of ukraine will catch that. you are an incredible example in our branch. thank you."  is that not the cutest thing you ever did read?! i just about melted in my chair. i thought you might like to hear that, too.

okay, so my spirtual thought for this email. first of all, as of sunday, there were 1258 sister missionaries in the MTC. we got to listen to the new President of the General Young Women's Board talk to us. she said something like, "the Prophet said that all women beginning at age 19 could serve a mission if they so DESIRED.......and look at all those that had that desire." isn't that perfect?! like what a great way to think about that. everyone here HAD THAT DESIRE TO SERVE. and it's amazing. 1258! wow. no wonder there is never enough food (did i mention my meal time is now 2 hours later than it used to be.....we never get any food anymore). but i just think this whole missionary thing is seriously the most amazing thing. i need the Gospel so desperately in my life....and so does everyone else. i can't wait to tell the people of ukraine what i know. i can't wait to tell them that there is hope. there is light. and the answer is jesus christ. he is the only way we can ever fully solve our problems. the only way. he is the only way we can be truly happy. any two people can accomplish ANYTHING, as long as one of them is the Lord. I know that I can do anything with the Lord. i know that he'll be laboring WITH ME as i serve my mission, because this is HIS WORK, and HIS glory. it is just so amazing to me.

another thought. in church, the mission presiden't wife spoke about "beginnings." she talked about how all beginnings are hard. any time you're "beginning" something, whether it be a paper you're writing, a new stage in life, marriage, babies, new places, ect.....it's hard. because it's new. i thought so much on my own life.....and all the beginnings i've started. i thought about all the things that i've done that have been hard.........and then all of my favorite things i've ever done. it all traces back to that beginning, when i pushed myself enought to let myself grow. i've realized i'm happiest when i'm growing. if i'm not growing....then what am i doing? nothing worthwhile, i guess. you know?! like if i'm not learning something about myself.....then i need to change something in my life. there is always room to grow, which means there is always room to begin something new. You can't swallow the world all at once, but you can definitely get some big gulps. why sip, when you can gulp?! hahaha i think that missions are all about creating new beginnings for people. for the actual missionary (hi, i'm referring to myself here), but also for all people. i want everyone i teach to have a new beginning. i want them to begin to follow jesus christ....because He will show them happiness.

yesterday i studied in Alma 26.....can i just tell you that i LOVE this chapter as a missionary? it talks all about the sons of mosiah, and what THEY felt like as missionaries. alma 26:12 has been one of my favorite scriptures for a while....and the chapter is one of my favorite chapters right now. it talks about how they left their homes, they left things behind ("privations"). they struggled....to the point that they said, ".......when we were about to turn back....." HOWEVER.....they said they couldn't even begin to describe how much they were blessed. they had no idea how much the lord would bless them! and they brought THOUSANDS into the Gospel. thousands. but they knew it was all because of God, and Christ. And i love how they say, "who can talk too much of Christ." (or something along those lines). I FEEL LIKE THE SONS OF MOSIAH. i feel like this. i can not talk enough about how much i have been blessed. i can not even begin to tell you how much i have felt the Lord's hand. i've been blessed up to the sky and beyond. and i feel so happy. i love being a missionary. my prayers are like literally at least a half an hour every night..........because i just sit and talk about how blessed i am. i wish you could even begin to know how much i have been blessed here. i can't wait to tell you stories. i am grateful every, single day to be alive. i am grateful to be a missionary. i'm grateful to be me. i'm grateful to have a living prophet on the earth. i'm so grateful for everything that i have. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh life is wonderful.

this week in "is that really necessary."

#1 i ran into brooklin at a devotional. i gave her a hug and we were talking....and this usher (please just die with me over the fact that they call them ushers here) comes like running up to us and holds a sign in our faces that says "reverent please." and doesn't even say a word to us. ummmmmmmmmmm like IS THAT REALLY NECESSARY.

#2 oh, this morning i did laundry. we leave and come back and get our stuff as soon as it's done. so i come back to switch my laundry to the dryer. i got there like 2 or 3 minutes after my machine stopped......and this girl was like throwing my clothes out onto the floor. i just started laughing. like is that really necessary? she had so much rage, i just let her keep going.

if you send me a package soon (please send me one :) pleeeeeeeeeeeease) then i would love some cinnamon bears! or something like that. and cheez itz. like the parmesan ones. or Four cheese ones. now that our meals are so spread out.....we have dinner, and then gym....and then don't eat until really late the next day for breakfast. and that's what i've been craving. and i'd love any conference talks you want to send. i love reading those. and i'd love like a deep or leave-in conditioner. and i love the mints that dad sends. you are just the very, very, very best. i mean that with all the genuine-ness i  can muster out of myself. i love you all and am just so grateful for you in my life. i can't wait to hear about Vegas, mom!

also....my favorite teacher was talking about funny wisdom teeth conversations......and i told him about my video. he was like I NEED TO SEE THIS. so he watched it on our break, and thinks it's the most hilarious thing. so now he keeps referencing the bachelor, or sean lowe, or me keeping secrets from the taboloids. it's really great.

  

well. i love you all. i expect to be getting letters from every one of you. aldkfj;dlfkjdf;klajdsf;l kdj;kalfjadl;kfj;sdlja;kdlfja;sdlkfj i just love you soooooooooooooooo much. things are wonderful.

life is wonderful.

xoxoxoxoxo sister jasmine Wallace

 i lovvvvvvvvvvvvve writing in my journal. thanks baby bean

there is this tree that literally smells like cream soda. this is me smelling it, like i do on a daily basis.

my tree

temple day

 yesterday i got to study outside. yayyyyyyyyy

just because

temple day

my nametag fell in the toilet......oops.

1 Month

wait a second.....how on earth did this happen.....how in the WORLD is it already wednesday again!?!?!?!?!?!? i'm dying about it. this week FLEW.

i love you guys. oh, thank you for being the best family in the entire world. i'm so blessed to have you all. i'm so blessed that we are so close...and i hope you know how much i love and appreciate you all. i just really do. i just wish i could sit and talk to you every night and tell you how great my day was. i was talking to a girl the other night and we just both looked at each other and said, "I JUST MISS MY FAMILY!!!!!!!" so thanks for being the best ever.

another great week. oh, and did i mention this is my ONE MONTH MARK?! can i get a whooo whoooo?! i don't know how this happened, but i guess it did? so i have been celebrating all day. because it's P-DAY, and a one month anniversary of being on a mission :)

sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo i don't really even know where to start! i guess i'll just tell you what the theme of this week has been in my head. i have been thinking so much about being WILLING. let me elaborate. how often do we have things in life that we have to do. like callings, homework, jobs, etc. We do it because we want to...and because we have to. I've been thinking a lot about WILLINGLY succumbing to the Lord's will, and doing things with a willing heart. In Mosiah 3:19 it talks about "yielding to the enticings of the Holy Spirit....[and being] willing to submit [to all] things." That's not just saying we need to do what the Spirit tells us to...but that we need to do it willingly. I have thought about that a lot. it's kind of like the true test of faith. the true test OF LIFE. how willing are we, how willing am I, to yield willingly to the enticings of the Spirit?  I have thought a lot about the life of Christ....and how we must follow Him. We follow Him because we love Him. I follow Him, because I love Him. Not only did He die for me....but he did so WILLINGLY. he at any time could have decided he was done.....or he could have done it grudgingly...but he did it all out of his own free will.....and he did it willingly. (do you get the point here hahahah..let me just say WILLINGLY like twelve more times for you). but doesn't that just send shivers down your spine.....that He was so willing to die for you? that he was willing to literally suffer to His death for YOU. ohhhhhhhhhhhh the joy. so putting that into perspective for my mission....i want to freely give myself to God. I want to grow in my willingness to serve, my willingness to be the best that i can be, and my willingness to yield to the Spirit. I know that in God's strength, I can do all things. It's actually amazing to think about that- ALL THINGS. the world is at my fingertips........and through the strength of God and the Atonement of Jesus Christ....I can literally do all things.   Spiritual thought of the day. Hope you feel uplifted :)

 moving along.......this week in IS THAT REALLY NECESSARY:

-i went to the usual sunday night devotional. i waited in a swarm of people for like a really long time.....to get into the room where ushers were pretty much shoving people out because apparantely there weren't any more seats and i was just like....oh nuuuuuuuuuuuhhh uhhhhhhh if i had to wait for an hour to be here...i will stay here. i KNOW that there are two seats in here that you can put my companion and me in. and because of my stubbornness....we got seats :) but we were separated and i was put into a sea of Asians (that is in no way supposed to be racist.....it's just the truth and it gives an added effect to the story). so they all are from Asia (naturally) and none of them speak english that well....because they are all wearing headsets (for translating). so just picture me in this setting. just like literally in the dead center of this group in the middle of the auditorium. And i'm just enjoying the devotional....until i smell literally the WORST SMELL of my life. and i'm just like....what is happening, what is happening, what is happening. and i look around and THEY HAVE ALL TAKEN THEIR SHOES OFF. like..........................no. oh, it was truly awful. like...welcome to America......we don't do that here. so i was really uncomfortable for the rest of that meeting.

-okay another issue that i've run into is that people think that they are literally like freaking opera singers. NO YOU ARE NOT.....you're just not. if you think you are a great singer...chances are....you're probably not which is totally fine, because like i'm not going to act like i am....but you don't need to act like it either! my biggest pet peeve is that everyone sings FULL ON OPERA SONGS EVERY, SINGLE TIME THEY SHOWER. all the showers are like connected, you know? like it's just a big, common bathroom with like five or six showers on both sides. and every time i walk in, or shower, girls are just going to town singing. which may not seem annoying...but it is IN EVERY WAY annoying. just picture yourself wanting to enjoy a nice, hot shower in peace....and all you hear around you is off-key singing. not only that, but it's LOUD. and coming from everyone around you. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it's just bad.

Another funny incident was that this week we have had SYL days (speak your language). it's just where pretty much no english is allowed. so that's super fun most of the time. anyways. i was talking in ukrainian to some elders in our zone.....and they walked away at the end. and these other elders that had been vacuuming like come up to me and they're like kind of awkwardly smiling and like just being super awkward, in general. and one of them like you could tell wanted to say something to me...and he just goes, "um.....DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....yoooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...speaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkk...ennnnnnnnggggggggliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh??????" like super slowly, and awkwardly. i was literally about to pee my pants. like, first of all it's hilarious because my ukrainian is like not even good......and he seriously thought i was like a foreign missionary. so i just kind of shook my head and quietly said, "eh no." it was pretty great. i just pictured the people of ukraine going, "doooooooooooo.....youuuuuuu....speak......ukkkkkkkkrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaannn???" as i'm like trying to talk to them in ukrainian. i can already see it :)

  

well. to sum things up.....i'm really loving life. I think it's amazing that over the course of the last four weeks....i've learned more than i've probably ever learned. i see things in a completely different way. i see the Gospel in a completely different way. i see myself in a completely different way. i've realized that i'm here to pursue a different part of ME. i've spent my life pursuing the part of myself that i'm not focusing on here. i'm focusing and bettering this part of myself that i don't think i could have discovered in any other way. in fact, i know that i couldn't have discovered it in any other way. i'm so happy that i get to be here. i'm happy that i get to learn so much every, single day. I want to put the same enthusiasm that i have for life, and for my mission, into being a true disciple of Jesus Christ. I want to do everything i can, every day, to be better. to do better. and i can. because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, i can. when i think of the atonement, i think of a bird in a cage......and the bird just being released into the world........being free. that is what the Atonement allows me to do every day. it allows me to be free. free from worries. free from sin. free from heartache. free from loneliness. free from all things holding me back from reaching my full potential. just remember that none of our problems can be TRULY solved without Jesus Christ. they will never be TRULY solved....without Christ.

  

I love you all. i pray for you all. i think about you all....all the time! i can't wait to send home my letters this week. i have a special something for baby bean :) so that will be fun. keep sending me stuff! but lay off the junk.......unless you want me to look like a fat-so. but seriously, thanks for the packages. my district LOVES you. so much. i love you so much.

  

oh and also i was walking out of the temple today and a sweet woman was like oh my goodness can i take your picture and send it to your mom?!?!?!?! ummmmmmmmmmmmm YES YOU CAN! so i hope you got that, mom. she was the sweetest. i truly love you all. be expecting things in the mail.

  

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

jazzy/sister wallace

this is me doing some light reading. nothing like some ukrainian on a sunday afternoon.

i went back to the outside world and my teeth are HEALED!!!!! yahoooooooo

hahahahahhahhahaha... sorry boys lots of new sister missionaries.    

the girls on our temple walk. we take them every sunday....

another ukrainian pic

my view

thanks for the goodies