well....i guess this can't be blogged...so that's a bummer hahahahah. learn how to make it private!!!!
i guess i told mom the run-down in the other email. you could say a lot is going on in this part of the world. and i'm here in the middle of it hahahaah. god is mindful of all of us, no matter where we are.
sooooo i would tell you that we had a million meetings, or something like that...but we actually just had a lot of valiant efforts trying to have conversations with people. this whole situation has taught me a lot about patience....something i clearly don't have enough of. it hit me this morning....this little thought.....so i'll share it with you:
Heavenly father is literally a perfect parent. in every way. i thought of you, mom and dad....who taught me a lot of lessons. i thought about being in seventh grade and wanting a cell phone. everyone was getting the new RZR phones....and i wanted a phone. so, come christmas, i got one! an ugly, brick, pay as you go phone. one that i had to pay for myself! so i worked, and bought minutes for it all the time. and when i didn't have money...i didn't have a phone. it was annoying. i begged and begged for you to pay for it, or put us on a cell-phone plan! i put together power-point presentations on "why i deserve a better phone." and i had a dumb pay-as-you-go phone that i payed for on my own for a LONG time. and then that one christmas, i got a pretty touch-screen phone....on a plan...with unlimited texting....that YOU were paying for. and i was so happy. i was so happy, i wasn't even THAT annoyed that bradley, sabrina, and peter got the same deal.......and didn't even have to suffer through spending all their own money for a dumb pay as you go phone...like i had to. it was all behind me and in the past...and i had this new phone.
i thought of being your daughter....and how many times (in this story and throughout my life) i've looked at you with pouty lips and tears in my eyes. maybe when i was little and wanted candy. or when i was in sixth grade and i wanted that hideous "happy bunny" shirt that is just stupid. and how i was so sad when the answer was, "no." but, you just kept loving me, and you knew that i didn't need these things. you knew i didn't need that candy when there were cookies at home. you knew i didn't need a happy bunny shirt because people would judge me and call me names (or their parents would judge you ;) ). you knew i didn't need a phone with unlimited texting on it in seventh grade. you could just see more than me.
well, heavenly father is the ultimate parent-er. he knows so much...he doesn't even ever make mistakes. you know? he just knows. and i think of how many times (especially on my mission), i've begged, and pleaded...through teary eyes....and asked, "WHYYYYYY?!" and he just loves me and says, "not now." he can see more than i can. i'm here on earth like a little child that doesn't know that much screaming, "but dad...i want that candy!" "but heavenly father...i want to be able to proselyte! i want to have someone to teach! etc." Heavenly Father knows more than me. He doesn't give me everything i want...because He's a good parent. He has me work....just as i had to work for my pay-phone that i didn't even like that much. He has me work for all these things...and do my part...and every once and a while he'll give me $25 for my "pay-phone." just as you gave me money sometimes when i was struggling...or just because you wanted to. He showers blessings upon me...and one day He'll give me something better than i could even imagine now. he'll give me the REAL DEAL phone. and even if he doesn't......He will have given me other things that i learned from paying for my own phone. i.e. work ethic, independence, sacrifice, etc.
i'm grateful for the lessons you taught me, mom and dad. thank you for not always giving me everything i've ever wanted. if you had, i wouldn't be the person i am today. and i'm thankful for heavenly father...for not giving me everything i want. for testing me, and having me go through hard times.
i must be willing to bear with patience all t hese things "and [yield] to the the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and [put] off the natural man and [become] a saint through the Atonement of Christ the Lord, and [become] as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit TO ALL THINGS WHICH THE LORD SEETH FIT TO INFLICT UPON [ME], even as a child doth submit to his father" (mosiah 3:19).
i'm learning to become as a child.....and not like the little brat i was when i was little....but a really calm child hahahahaah. because i know that God knows more than me....for He is my Heavenly Father.
anyways....i'm just here in the streets of ukraine SPREADING JOY all day. i wish i could just hug and kiss you all through the computer screen.
also....if you could all SERIOUSLY send me any of my strengths or talents....i would love you even more. even if it's "you make really good sandwiches..." (not even like that dumb phrase people say as a joke....). because i need to find all my talents that i don't even recognize and use them to bless the people here. this week we focused on using our talents in our companionship......in order to find people. so since she likes art....we ran with that. because my talent is talking...i talk to people while she does art in the park hahah. anyways. i'm serious about that.
i love you all. xoxoox jas